I Want To Remember
by Masaichu
Summary: Every touch we've shared, every moment we've had, every thing we've conquered. I want to remember that we did it, you and I, without help from anyone else.


It's never looked as gray and bleak in the sky as it does today.

Sitting in a chair, her eyes are trained to the window, staring. She expects to see him walking towards the door, bags of groceries in hand. Perhaps he'll even cave in and buy her at least a single bottle of alcohol this time...

But even if he doesn't, it'd be okay, really. Haku knows her brother dislikes her alcoholic ways since he complains about them whenever he catches her with a bottle in her hand or having to drag her home from a bar.

Every time he lectures her and every time she just goes and gets another. He's tried just about everything to make her stop, even threatening to throw her out of the house.

He actually attempted that one time.

And came running outside fifteen minutes later, apologizing up and down for doing it. She was sitting a little bit away from the house.

Waiting.

Haku knew he wouldn't mean something like that. She knew that inside he would cave in and bring her back because that's what he always did when he regretted doing things.

A rumble of thunder came, shaking her from her thoughts. Glancing out the window again, she saw no sign of Dell. Maybe he'd decided to stay and wait the storm out before coming back?

She stood and began walking, to where she wasn't quite sure. The 'house' was quite small, small enough to be considered a shack more so than a house.

Her feet brought her to the kitchen. It wasn't one of those fancy kitchens though with all the utensils and cooking gadgets.

The walls were a plain, yet somehow dark-seeming white, and the floor was a dusty set of gray tiles.

While her stomach growled, Haku didn't bother opening the fridge, or the small cabinet nearby.

She knew for a fact they were empty.

A small wooden table was in the middle of the already crowded room. Two lone chairs -which looked suspiciously like the type one might see if they were stolen right out of a bar- sat tucked beneath it.

Pulling one out and sitting, Haku closed her eyes and leaned on the table.

It was small, but hey, it was home. It had been home back then...

--

_"This_ _is it!? This is where they decided to dump us off at!?" Dell exclaimed, his eyes glaring and jaw dropped. The place looked exactly one of those houses they called 'flats'._

_"Maybe it looks, um...Better inside, Dell-san..." Advised Haku, trying to keep him under control._

_"It sure as Hell better look better inside..." He hiked his bag over his shoulder, picked up a large moving box and headed to the door, key in hand._

_Dragging her own bag along, Haku followed, staring at the house. It did indeed look rundown, but she was happy enough knowing they'd had a roof over their heads._

_Inside, they stepped into an empty room. The paint on the walls was flaking off and it seemed like it hadn't been in use for years._

_"I swear, when I get my hands on them, I'll...I'll..."_

_Shaking his head, Dell went on ahead and looked around the house. Haku closed the door behind her and dropped her bag by his stuff, looking around._

_The house had five rooms in total, two of them fairly big and the other three very small._

_"This one is my bedroom." Claimed Dell, pointing at one of the large rooms behind him._

_"Then I...I'll have the other one..."_

_"But this place is still a dump...Geez, they didn't even leave any furniture around for us..."_

_"We can get some..."_

_"It takes money, Haku. Which is something we don't have."_

--

He was right, they didn't have it then, though they'd gotten it. Slowly, but still had gotten it.

Rain was pattering against the windows now, softly leaving watery trails.

Standing again, Haku headed down the hall and to the bedrooms. Her eyes glanced at Dell's door. Normally, she didn't take a long time to look around inside when he was around, because he'd shoo her out if she overstayed her welcome.

But he wasn't here now, and that gave her a chance.

Opening the door slowly, she stepped inside and tried to adjust to the darkness. The lights in the room had been broken since they'd arrived here, but it didn't matter to Dell.

He preferred the dark over bright lights, and the computer screen always provided enough light for him anyway.

His bed sat in the corner, the blanket unkempt and strewn across the bed messily. The desk was a few feet away, gray swivel chair pushed in under it.

The computer was the prime object sitting on it, keyboard messy with crumbs and fingerprints.

Papers and office supplies lay all over, with the occasional dirty coffee mug or spent lighter. Even a few clothes were sitting around on it, having not made it into the duffel bag under the bed.

_"We don't need to buy an expensive dresser."_ He'd said at the time. Bags and things like that were good enough.

It had taken enough time to pay off for what they had already, so Haku was fine with sacrificing organization.

The rest of the room was fairly empty save for cigarette buds or stains on the carpet, but she knew there was still one more notable item in the room.

Kneeling down by the bed, she peered beneath it and reached out.

Her hand felt a smooth, black case. Pulling it out a moment, she smiled after noticing how clean it looked and pushed it back under.

As far away as it was, Haku could still remember when he'd first gotten it...

--

_"Hm? What is all this, Haku?" Dell asked, scratching his head slightly. He'd woken up ready to actually make something for breakfast, only to find the table set with Haku sitting in front of a large bunch of warm, decent looking food._

_"I made you a special breakfast, Dell."_

_"Why?"_

_Haku tried not to laugh a bit. Obviously, he was still half asleep._

_"It's your birthday today, remember?"_

_Realization dawned on him and he slapped himself mentally. How could he have forgotten something as important as his own birthday? He must have been so overworked lately..._

_"I...Well...I just...Thank you..."_

_Sitting across from her, his eyes scanned the table. Pancakes, eggs, bacon, juice...How had she really done all this for him? Had she been planning to do this for a long time or something?_

_Dell couldn't remember his sister doing something like this for him before, and it truly struck a good nerve in his heart._

_Forking some pancake into his mouth, he decided this was going to be an excellent morning..._

--

_"Ahh...That was the best breakfast I've ever had, Haku...Thank you so much for doing that..."_

_"I wanted to do something special for you...After all, you spent so much on that guitar for my birthday last year..."  
_

_"True...Well...I should get to work..." He stood up, his workaholic mode kicking in as soon as he remembered._

_"W-Wait!" Haku stood as well, almost in fear that he'd leave. "I have...Something else for you..."_

_She left for a moment before coming back with a very large, wrapped up present._

_"I got this for you...Because I...I've known that you've wanted it for a long time..."_

_He took it in his arms slowly, setting it on the ground as though it were frail glass before ripping the paper off._

_It was a large black case, one that would hold an instrument..._

_The color left from Dell's face for a moment as he stared at the object before him. With shaky hands, he unsnapped the metal claps and opened it like a treasure chest full of gold._

_Inside was a beautifully carved wooden guitar, the strings all in perfect tune, and a small pack of guitar picks._

_He didn't dare move nor breathe._

_"Haku...I...You..."_

_Two warm arms wrapped around him from behind, pulling into a close hug._

_"Happy Birthday, Dell-san..."_

--

Songs and tunes swirled in her mind as Haku remembered each and every note her brother had ever played on that guitar. He'd mastered it almost as soon as he'd gotten it.

Although it wasn't played now as much as it had been then, she loved being able to close her eyes and listen down the hall as he took out, whether to clean it or play it, or merely stare at it's beauty.

Pulling herself up, Haku wandered out of the room to her own room.

It was almost the same as Dell's, mirroring it in many fashions such as where the bed was and how clean it could be considered.

Sitting on the bed, she soon lay on her back and closed her eyes. She'd done much for her brother, but he'd also done much for her as well...

--

_"No...No...I'm not good...Uhhh...I'll never beeeee...as good as...heeeeer..." She murmured drunkenly. Several empty bottles lay on the floor next to the bed._

_Looming above her, Dell looked down upon his drunk sister with a mix of anger, sadness and disgust._

_How many times did she have to drink her troubles away before she learned they were always going to come back to her in the end anyway?_

_Sitting on the bedside, he reached down hesitantly before gently pushing her hair out of her face._

_"Dell-chaaaaaan...Hehe...That sounds good with your naaame..."_

_"Haku, give me the bottle." He said sternly, in an attempt to stop the small blush on his face from growing._

_"Why...? Take a sip, huuuh...? You'll love it...You'll feel so much better..."_

_"No, I won't, and you won't either. Now give it."_

_He didn't wait. Instead, he grabbed it and tugged it out of her hands. It didn't take much effort though, she was too drunk to fight back in the first place anyway._

_"I still won't get b...Bet...Better..." Haku moaned, this time starting to cry a bit._

_"You can get better..." Dell wasn't good at comforting, but he'd say anything to help her now._

_"Noooo...You say I can't so it must be true..."_

_"It's not true."_

_"Then proooove it..." She giggled drunkenly. "Kiss me then to prove it..."_

_"What!?"_

_Alright, now he knew for certain she was way too tipsy. The blush on his face was only increasing by the second, and he was getting desperate for a way out of this._

_Before he could though, a hand closed around his neck tag and tie, pulling him down._

_Dell's lips met her forehead, and he squeezed his eyes shut while listening to her drunken fit of laughter._

_"Haha! You did it...You looove me then...Because I'm sooo...Great...Right, brother...?" She released him from her grip and giggled at his beet red face._

_A few moments later, she ended up passing out, but not before she heard him reply._

_"...Yeah...You're really great, Haku..."_

_And she knew it was true, even if the consequences hadn't exactly be favorable..._

--

The front door slammed shut almost at the exact time a crack of thunder whipped the sky. Sitting straight up, Haku ran from her room to the kitchen.

"Oh, Dell-san, you're back! I was getting wor-" She stopped short when she skidded into the kitchen.

Bags of groceries sat on the table, wilting slightly as water dripped off of them. On one of the seats sat Dell, arms crossed on the table with his head buried in them.

His hair was wet and spread out wildly, the band for his ponytail missing, and his clothes were equally as wet. The purple tie on his neck was partially loose, caught up in a knotted mess with his neck tag.

Most noticeably though, his headset, which normally sat straight on his head, now limply hung from around his neck.

"...Dell...?" Haku advanced towards him cautiously, reaching her hand out and rubbing his shoulder slightly.

"...Are you alright, Dell?"

She shook him slightly before he turned to look at her.

Even if he was soaked in cold rain water, the few hot tears of frustration escaped. The usual fire in his eyes was now just a dull red.

"...I'm tired, Haku...Very, very tired..."

--

She didn't wait from him to come back to the kitchen to start putting things away. As he left to change, Haku had instantly started putting things in the fridge, in the cabinet, on the table...Wherever it needed to be.

But her mind was still stuck on the image of her desheveled brother. Today must have been one of his stressful days...

After a certain amount of time, he'd always have one of those days where he was just too stressed and tired to put up with anything, but Haku could never tell when it was because he'd hide it.

He didn't want to quit. He couldn't quit, he had to keep going for both of them.

She secretly hated that he'd bottle all that up, though. She herself already knew what that was like, and he constantly was the one having to bring her out of her pain.

But just like that, she'd bring him out of his pain as well.

They looked out for each other that way.

They had to because no one else was going to do it.

--

For what seemed like forever, Haku sat at the table. Waiting for her brother wasn't anything new, but it was hard to ignore the fact that she was staring straight down the hallway and he wasn't coming.

When the door finally swung open, however, she sat up with her best posture and looked.

Dell came trudging down the hallway, wearing only a clean pair of black pants and drying his hair with a towel. For once he wasn't even wearing his headset. He looked stranger even without his hair kept up in the back.

Leaning against the doorway, he glanced around the kitchen before looking at Haku.

"You already did it..."

"I thought you were going to rest or...something..."

An awkward silence settled in between them for several minutes.

"..."

"..."

"...I don't feel hungry tonight, Haku. I want to just sleep..."

"That's...That's fine by me...I'm not hungry either..." Her stomach's growling immediately marked her as a liar, but Dell didn't seem to hear or notice.

"If you say so..." He spoke quietly before turning on his heel and heading back towards his room.

Just as he reached for the doorknob, a feeling came over him that he was sure was familiar. Two arms around him, hands resting on his chest. Head resting on his shoulder.

"...If you need anything, Dell-san...Don't be afraid to ask..."

The siblings stayed frozen for a moment, before Dell placed his hands over Haku's and closed his eyes. A small smile played on his lips as he stroked his fingers over her own.

"Thanks for being concerned..."

Haku smiled and squeezed him a bit tighter. It was times like these she wanted to remember forever. The small touches and silent words they shared with one another.

A dream or something close to it must have taken her right then and there because when she snapped up, she had already let go of Dell and he'd disappeared back into his room.

--

_"Ne, Master?" Whenever Haku tried using that innocent sounding voice, it was sure that something was up._

_"Yes, Haku?" He asked slowly, a bit afraid of what she might say._

_"Why did you tell me not to bring Dell today?"_

_"Oh...Um, well..."_

_Haku stared at him with those big curious eyes. She wanted to know exactly why she'd been told to have Dell stay behind. Mostly though, she wanted to know it because she was sure Dell had wanted to come._

_When she'd told him Master had said to stay home, he'd grown very quiet and nodded. And then stayed quiet the rest of the morning. Was he afraid Master didn't like him?_

_"You see Haku, uh...I needed a decent singer to come here, and uh..." He grew scared when she frowned._

_"What do you mean, 'decent'? Dell can sing too..."_

_"I know that, but, er...He just...Can't sing like you."_

_"But I'm not the best. You could have gotten Miku or the twins but...You got me."_

_Taking a second glance at the lyrics sheet, she re-read the lyrics to herself. How sad they sounded now, after looking them over more carefully._

_"...Just because it's a sad song, that's why you chose me, isn't it? Because I'm not good enough for a good song."_

_"I didn't say that, Haku."_

_"That's what you meant. You don't think Dell is good enough, that's why you didn't want him. You think he's terrible."_

_"Haku, wait-!"_

_"No...You're not my Master."_

--

Propped up in his bed, Dell lay with his arms behind his head, cigarette burning down slowly between his lips.

Haku had told him all about that day who knows how long ago, but it was still fresh in his mind. After that day, neither of them went back to the person they once called 'Master'.

Sure, it had been a lot harder finding someone who would take them now, and yes, money was tight.

But he was a firm believer that it had to be done. 'Master' never asked for them to come in much anyway, and they probably would have ended up being let go at some point anyway.

Standing him up was the much better option.

Reaching to the side, Dell picked up his headset and put it on. The speakers were still damp, but he didn't mind. Closing his eyes and thinking as hard as he could, his sister's voice came into his ears.

Her singing sounded like an angel's voice to him now. Even if the sharps and flats could easily be heard, even if she stumbled and sounded too low, it was still the best thing he'd ever heard.

After listening to a song or two, he suddenly got an urge. That urge he only got when he felt inspired.

Sitting up and setting the headset back to the side, Dell got on his knees and pulled the guitar case out from under the bed.

--

The rain seemed to have lifted now, Haku figured, as she sat on her bed with her legs brought up to her chest.

Her mind replayed continual memories of times past. They'd gone through hard times, sad times, happy times, good times...

Of all the things Haku wanted, it was to know that there would be more times like those in the future. Just her and Dell. They didn't need anyone else as long as they had each other.

It had always been that way, after all. Why change it?

A faint sound suddenly came to her and she turned to the door. From the room next door, she could hear the soft strums of guitar strings. Haku could practically picture the gentle hands that were playing them.

She suddenly felt quite lonely by herself, and hopped off her bed.

--

"I never knew you had candles, Dell-san..." Haku whispered, watching her brother flick out his lighter and bring a candle or two to life. After all, the last thing they needed was to be blinded by darkness.

"Well...You never know..." He shrugged it off. A twitch went through his back as he felt it crack, then relaxed once it felt quite right.

If there was one thing he enjoyed more than playing his guitar right now, it was getting a free back rub after a hard day. He really should consider asking this again sometime...

"Little higher, Haku-chan..."

"Right..."

Carefully squeezing at a few muscles, Haku couldn't help the smile beaming on her face. Haku-chan..It sounded right coming from her brother's lips.

As another song began to come forward from the wooden instrument, Haku shut her eyes and leaned on Dell's shoulder.

She wasn't about to let this moment, or the moments to come after, slip away from her.


End file.
